Saturday, 29 March 2008
Friday, 28 March 2008
Thursday, 27 March 2008
Wednesday, 26 March 2008
a donkey called Monika has retired as a ballerina in Russia - and she's only 21.
Fluffy likes donkeys.
However he prefers breakdancing to ballet
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
A stupid dog is pretending to be a buddhist.
Fluffy says that if a dog falls over in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, it doesn't make a noise. Which doesn't matter, because dogs are rubbish anyway.
Friday, 21 March 2008
A cardinal has objected to the new Embryology bill in the House of Commons. It will allow creating hybrid animal/human comboshttp://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/7308224.stm
Kitten is in favour of the bill because he would like to be a cross between himself and Evel Knievel, or a cross between him and Steve Ovett - that way he could either drive a motorbike or run dead fast.
By all accounts this particular Cardinal objects to pretty much everything, anyway.
Wednesday, 19 March 2008
Tuesday, 18 March 2008
this cat appears to have been framed. he might just have been given these goods, or may have retreived them from the real thief.
Saturday, 15 March 2008
this man got shot in the head but still went for fish and chips. Kitten likes fish and chips.
Thursday, 13 March 2008
Silly Nicaraguans take their dogs to church - which is pointless, because they're rubbish.
Wednesday, 12 March 2008
There is still VAT on cat food - nuff said. Alistair may be someone's darling but he's not Fluffy's. Even though he has a cat called Sybill.
Tuesday, 11 March 2008
there's a petition to get another bank holiday. Fluffy loves bank holidays - they're especially useful when he has three things to do - normal weekends aren't long enough.
businessmen might disgree because it'll hurt profits but if they had their way, children would still be up chimneys, cleaning them with brushes made of live kittens.
Monday, 10 March 2008
having a cat stops you getting heart disease. No such results were found to be true of dogs. the scientists are trying to make excuses, but in the final analysis dogs are rubbish.
Friday, 7 March 2008
There has been suspicious betting on rubbish event "Crufts." Apparently there are rumours of an unknown "Superdog" in the utility category who is sure to win.
Fluffy has a number of points
1) Crufts is rubbish
2) Dogs are rubbish
3) There is no such thing as a "superdog"
4) Utility dogs are ones that can do the hoovering.
Wednesday, 5 March 2008
In china, "fat" is a complement. Fluffy would like to owned by a chinese person. One in five people is chinese so it shouldn't b e too hard to arrange.
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
the clumsiest cats in Britain are in the West Midlands. They keep having to go to the vet. Fluffy has mixed feelings about vets.
Monday, 3 March 2008
A mouse has been seeing going into the Ivy restaurant in London. Fluffy reckons they need to get a cat - possibly one with a bow tie.
Sunday, 2 March 2008
a new leopard has been born. Fluffy thinks he looks like his friend Spotty.